Special Education Today

I’m excited about this new job that I will soon be interviewing for. It’s a charter school with a great mission statement. They actually believe in heading off the learning curve before it happens. I really want this job. Pray for me that I get this one!

HERE’S TO 2010!

Yeah, about that post a couple days ago. I DO NOT apologize for it. That was how I was feeling. I do, however, apologize for the language. I was so distraught. I can honestly say that it was THE lowest emotional & spiritual point of my life. I have never felt the way I felt that day. I have always believed in God. Although lately it has been in an agnostic kind of way. I still believed in a higher power. That was not the case the other day. The other day I simply refused to believe that there could be a higher power even. I mean seriously, with all the stuff I’ve been going through as well as what I see in the world. I didn’t want to continue.

So, what has changed since then? I don’t know. One thing that I’ve experienced in my lifetime is the belief that God does not put more on you than you can bear. Again, the other day, I did not find that to be the case. I have said that I am at a breaking point before but did not break. I was broken. There is simply no other way to put it. I was spiritually & emotionally broken. It was written all over my face & body. My shoulders were slumped. I had nothing left to give. I couldn’t even smile. I didn’t want to smile.

But, let me get back to what I was saying. What has changed? I gave up & completely & totally broke. Why is that? Is that a requirement of committing to God? Do you have to be broken? I wish I had the answer to myself, dear reader. I’d write a book about it if I did. That’s all I have to say.

HERE’S TO 2010!

I was so gung-ho last night. I decided that I needed to change my negative way of thinking. I was so inspired by my nephew who just moved back home last night. He’s so positive that some of it rubbed off on me. Well, that optimism lasted for less than a day. Why you ask?

Well, God just isn’t on my side.

• I can’t buy a job to save my life,
• I’m behind on so much stuff,
• I hate life. Sometimes I curse the day when I wake up,
• I just got a fucking ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. You sure can tell the state of California needs money.
• I’ve decided that I do not believe in God the way I used to. I’ve decided he’s not in the habit of helping me out for the past couple years. So, I don’t choose to believe in him anymore.

My power of positive thinking lasted for less than 24 hours. I think I like my negative way of thinking. It obviously works for me. As a man thinketh, so is he!

This week my fourth graders are reading a play from our curriculum. The play is about several fairytale characters that come together in a court of law to accuse the Big Bad Wolf.

Yesterday, when I introduced the story, I had to make sure and backtrack to see if everyone knew who The Little Red Riding Hood was and who Little Bo Peep was. As it turns out, only half of my class (that would be two students) knew the Little Red Riding Hood story and no one knew who in the world was Little Bo Peep.

So before we could get to reading the play, I had to tell the story of the Little Red Riding Hood. I sat on my teacher's stool, leaned forward, and must have entranced them with my amazing story telling abilities because after I finished, they clapped! Ha ha!

Next I had to explain who Little Bo Peep was. I pulled up the nursery rhyme on the internet (what did teachers do before the internet!??!) and started telling them all about it.

Except I had forgotten about what happens in this cautionary tale. In fact, I'm not sure I ever knew the actual story in all of its gruesomeness. And before I can even think to censor myself, I'm telling my innocent ten year-olds about how, although Little Bo Peep lost her sheep, she did find their severed tails hanging from a tree. True story.

As you may have guessed, this story didn't get applause.

**This post is inspired by a compilation of teachers

Signs you may need to a) revamp your classroom management system, or b) get a classroom management system:

1. You blame the kids for their behavior.
2. You blame the administration for your kids' behavior.
3. The only management tool you use is threats.
4. Your decisions are both arbitrary and inconsistent.
5. You scream at the kids until your face and neck turn red. (True story!)
6. You lose your voice often.
7. You don't think you're yelling, but the kids are covering their ears.
8. You tell your colleagues you're going to go work at IHOP.
9. You accuse your students of being "ghetto" -- to their faces.
10. You can't teach your lesson plans because you're too busy doing damage control.

If this sounds like you or someone you know, get help. You can start here.

After all, friends don't let friends teach mad.

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I’ve been in limbo for the past couple of months. I wish I could have a happy ending to all of this. I’m soooooooooooooooo tired! Something has to break soon. I just hope it’s not me!

HERE’S TO 2010!

Well, as the title states, I didn’t get the job. I’m not upset though. I really didn’t want it but I would have taken it ’cause a sister needs a job. It would not have been fair to them when I didn’t return in the Fall. They would have had to start the job search all over again.

This clears my mind regarding the next job that I’m interviewing for. I actually want to work for them. So, I’m playing phone tag with the HR person. We’ll see how this plays out.

HERE’S TO 2010!

Yes, dear readers, I’ve got another job interview. I haven’t heard anything from the other place, but it happens. I still see the job listed on Edjoin.org, so obviously they haven’t stopped looking. Like I said, if I get it fine, If I don’t fine. I have another interviewer to impress.

I don’t know where I’m going to end up, but wherever it is, I will make the best of it. Only time will tell.

HERE’S TO 2010!

Well, I haven’t heard anything back from the job I interviewed for. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

This weekend I watched (you guessed it) Must Love Dogs starring  Diane Lane & John Cusack. I won’t bore you with the particulars. The part that I want to blog about is when Diane Lane & John’s characters finally go out on a date & he asks her what her story is.

“What do you mean?,” she asks.

He tells her that people are brutally honest when they first meet each other. The problem begins once you’ve been together for awhile, when you get bogged down with the minutiae of everyday life, resentments & water under the bridge. So, he tells her his story, but she doesn’t really tell him hers. She holds back a little. Maybe she forgot they were in the beginning where she could be completely honest! ;D

Well, that’s my point today. I have so many questions in my head dealing with John Cusack’s statement. I’ve found that I have a hard time getting to the heart of things with people I’ve known for a long time. I can no longer be brutally honest. I don’t know how to conquer this problem. I feel like I’m going backwards sometimes. I’m having problems with a long-standing relationship because of this. I know I’ll get past this. I’m looking forward to it!

HERE’S TO 2010!

I’ve been working very hard trying to learn bookbinding. Trying is the key word. I’m afraid I am not having much success. Every time I think I’ve gotten a technique down, I screw something up the next time I try to do it. I am so frustrated right now. I’m even more frustrated because I was trying to teach Phillise as I’m learning. It is so hard to teach a hotheaded child something. Hmmm…I wonder where she got that from?

I’m not sure if I want to teach her anymore. It frustrates me and her. I think I’ll just pay for someone else to teach her. The problem began when I was trying to show her how to make a simple origami box that did not seem to want to cooperate. I was getting frustrated and needed some time to calm down. It certainly didn’t help that she was frustrated & tried to run off at the mouth. I told her that sometimes you need to start from scratch. By this time she was almost in tears, but I made her go through the process anyway while I tried to throw a little wisdom in there.  Although I didn’t, I wanted to, we continued.

Moral of the story? I’m still not sure. I’m thinking that it’s if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. But that will only bring her to tears. I’m also thinking that I need to continue working with my daughter, ignore the big crocodile tears & march on. It could also be…

I don’t know. I’m tired & need to calm down. Maybe I need to make a lesson plan before I attempt this again.

Today was a lazy Saturday. I was disappointed because I’d planned to go to Souplantation for breakfast. Unfortunately they only serve breakfast on Sundays. I didn’t get a chance to eat that great Souplantation breakfast buffet, but this is what I learned this morning:

1.) It’s okay to change your mind sometimes,

2.) A message on Facebook told me that I see things as I am, not as they are. I immediately agreed that it was true. It’s like I have some type of blockage all around me. I keep trying to deal with this particular issue of mine, but cannot seem to get past a certain point. Even though it’s tough, I will continue on,

3.) I can control my emotions and not let my emotions control me,

4.) Last, but not least, family is so important.

Maybe today wasn’t such a lazy day after all.

HERE’S TO 2010!

As you should be able to tell by my crazy title I could not decide what the title of this post should be, but bear with me and, as usual I will explain.  You see I’m very frugal when it comes to buying phones. I do not believe in spending a couple hundred dollars for a phone. Why? I have the biggest trouble with phones. If I’m not dropping them in water, I’m losing them. That’s exactly what happened to my last phone. I dropped it in water. So, I have been without a phone for a little over a week now. But, it doesn’t bother me. Not having a phone has actually allowed me a few moments of silence. I have been able to be alone with myself & my thoughts. It’s badly needed. Sometimes the ties that bind, really bind. You know what, it’s not so bad to be alone with yourself & your thoughts!

HERE’S TO 2010!

I was just thinking about a scene from You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan wishes she could have the perfect reply. She’s always at a loss for words when it comes to telling someone what she really thinks when she’s in an argument with them. Well, the time comes & she does have the perfect reply. The only thing is that she regrets it the instant she says it.

Have you ever had that happen to you? Well, I had it happen to me & it was just like Meg Ryan’s moment of epiphany. I felt no satisfaction. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I felt so terrible afterwards. I apologized, but that’s the funny thing about words- once they’re said, they’re said. I guess the perfect reply really isn’t a perfect reply after all.

HERE’S TO 2010!

Well, my interview went well. To top it all off, the Principal is currently a doctoral student @ LMU, so we had something in common to chat about. That’s a good sign.

I really am very good at interviews. I look forward to them & kinda’ like ‘em. My husband thinks I’m crazy for saying that because he hates job interviews. But, if you think about it, it is such an ego boost. The interview is all about you. The interviewer wants to hear what you’re good at, what you’ve accomplished, what you feel is your best asset. This is your time to brag about yourself. How cool is that?

I felt fantastic after leaving the interview. Even if nothing comes of this, at least I got an interview. I’m happy they even considered me. If I get it, fine. If not, fine. Only time will tell. We’ll see how things go.

HERE’S TO 2010!

Well, today’s the day. I have an interview today. Originally it was @ 10:30, but has been rescheduled for 12 noon. I am going to sell myself to the panel, individual interviewer or whoever is interviewing me. I am going to get there early & rehearse my answers. Wish me luck dear readers!

HERE’S TO 2010!

I haven’t posted a book review in quite some time. I’ve been reading so much lately. I am actually reading three books in three different series. I am currently reading:

1.- The 39 Clues by Rick Riordan

2.-The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

3.-The Name of this Book is ? by Pseudonymous Bosch

I’ve already finished The 39 Clues & The Name of this Book is Secret. I love all of them. If I had to choose between the three series, I honestly don’t know which one I would choose. I’m also reviewing a book for someone that I will post soon. So, give me a couple of days and I will post one of them or maybe all of them in a couple of days.

HERE’S TO 2010!

My interview is tomorrow. I am eagerly & happily looking forward to it. I don’t know how it’s going to work out, but I am ever hopeful! If all goes well, I will have something about special ed to post on here again. I would like to do that.

Well, it looks like all of my hard work has paid off. I finally got an interview. Believe me when I say that I am going to sell myself. I said that all I needed was an interview & the rest would work itself out. Now’s my chance to prove that. Dear reader, I will let you know how it goes. So, I am happily anticipating Tuesday.

HERE’S TO 2010!